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I went over the hill today with Jeff, Masako, Masako’s dad, and little Max to kill a tree for Xmas. Of course, I documented all of it for the authorities under the guise of being Max’s official photographer.

Max fell asleep on the ride over or he didn’t want to face the sick mangling that was to come.

 

Look at the glee in the killer’s eyes.

 

So innocent, waiting to die… “Dead tree standing!”

 

Masako and her dad survey the victims while Max hides his face in shame.

 

I think the look on everyone’s faces tells the story here… : (

 

Jeff, mad with sap lust, starts biting through the trunk while Masako’s dead explains proper technique.

 

He’s so ashamed…

 

But what’s this? Veggie guards? Look at that creepy grimace.

 

They only got a foot.

 

Jeff has some steamy cider to calm his nerves and for its legendary foot regenerating properties.

 

Just in case I didn’t survive to tell the tale, “Self Portrait in Car Window.”

 

The body.

 

From deep inside the mangled corpse…

 

Looks like someone got over it. Yay, Xmas is coming!

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